A Wonderful Truth
I’ve been meditating on a wonderful truth the past few days.
A lot of times I worry about my future, about things that will happen. And I like to be in control of myself, so when those worries come, they are doubly strong because these things in the future are out of my control. Thats the thing though. The future is out of my control. I’m not really in control in the first place. Sure, I can make choices and things in the moment, but when it comes down to it, God already knows whats going to happen to me, and the story of my life will tell. I’ve been focusing on two particular verses lately:
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. For those He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that he would be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; and those He called, He also justified; and those He justified, He also glorified.” Romans 8:28-30
“For I know the plans I have for you–this is the Lord’s declaration–plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
The first one is just a fancy way of saying that God already knows how your life is going to play out, and that He has plans for good, for those who love him. That doesn’t mean that all of life will be hunky dory, Jesus promised us that we would face troubles in this world, but also told us not to fear, because He’s overcome the world! The second verse emphasizes the promise that God has plans to give us hope and a future, for our well being, and that he will not leave us alone, that when we call for him, He will hear us. Notice He doesn’t say he will necessarily answer. There will be times when we feel like God isn’t there, I know I’ve felt that way, but as believers we can hope in the promise that God is still there, whether we can hear him or not.
Read MoreAs You Go (live)
This morning’s My Utmost for His Highest has some particular significance for me. Its based off Matthew 28:18,19, the Great Commission passage.
Lately I’ve been struggling with direction in my life. I don’t really know what I want to do, or what God wants me to do right now. For a while I thought vocational youth ministry was my calling, that sort of faded away for a time, now I’m caught between just working and doing ministry full time. I’m still not really sure what specifically God wants me to do. But at least this morning I have a general direction for my life.
Matthew says to “go therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing…teaching them to observe…and remember I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, to the end of the age.”
So many times I get anxious about my life. About what I will do, about how I will do it, whether I’ll succeed or not. Right now I can at least focus on this one calling that Jesus has given me. Oswald Chambers says this about this passage:
“Go therefore . . . .” To “go” simply means to live. Acts 1:8 is the description of how to go. Jesus did not say in this verse, “Go into Jerusalem, Judea, and Samaria,” but, “. . . you shall be witnesses to Me in [all these places].” He takes upon Himself the work of sending us.
“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you . . .” (John 15:7)— that is the way to keep going. Where we are placed is then a matter of indifference to us, because God sovereignly engineers our goings.
“None of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus . . .” (Acts 20:24). That is how to keep going until we are gone from this life.
As I’m living, I at least have this one command, to make disciples. It doesn’t matter whether I’m in a church doing that, or if I’m working as a garbage man. Christ promises to be with me always while I’m doing this. He will never forsake me, even though I may feel alone at times. I cannot count my life dear to myself, for then the focus is on me and not on Christ. With anxiety your focus always turns inward, its always about yourself, and its hard, but the way to overcome it is to focus not on yourself but on others. Serving others takes the focus off yourself, making disciples takes the focus off how you feel and puts it on the spiritual wellbeing of others.
My prayer today is that I would rest in this promise and simple command of Christ. As I’m going, make disciples, and know that Christ will be with me to sustain me, and help me through this life.
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Promotional T-shirts for the Soup Kitchen
Hey everybody,
If you remember a while back, Wim and I had talked about selling t-shirts to help raise funds for the Soup Kitchen in Lesotho, well….THEY’RE HERE!!!!! We have sizes from small all the way up to XXL. 100% of the proceeds will go to the ministry there in Lesotho and South Africa. The t-shirts are $20 each. If you would like to purchase one or a few, please contact me via the contact page on the website with what size and how many, and I’ll set them aside until I can get them to you. Another option would be to show up at one of the many speaking events Wim will be doing in and around Eastern NC this September. The most easily accessible place you can get one will be at the Stampede in the Park at the Memorial Baptist booth. Check out the photos below. The front says “I’m Changing Tomorrow” and the back says “Changing Tomorrow Childrens Foundation: changing lives since 2001″.
A Quick Update
Hello all,
Well, I’ve been back in the states for almost two months now. Apparently there were some vitamin deficiencies and parasites, along with some anxiety and stress that was triggered by the situation I was in, that were causing the physical problems I was having, particularly the pounding heart and shakiness in my hands. The parasites are gone, and the vitamin deficiencies are slowly fixing themselves. Currently I’m being treated for anxiety with medication. Things have been a real rollercoaster the past few weeks both physically and emotionally. Its difficult to describe the way an anxiety disorder makes you feel to someone who’s not experienced it, trapped, helpless, beat down, and fearful are a few of the words that come to mind, and they don’t necessarily point to any specific event or trigger, they’re just there. I ask that you all continue to pray for me as my current medication gets into my system, and if it doesn’t work please pray that I would be strong in the transition time to another option. The doctor doesn’t feel like this will be a long term deal, and I pray that it wont, because I dont like taking meds, but I pray that if it is, God would strengthen me and give me the courage to not feel like a failure for having to take medication (I know it sounds stupid, but thats the way anxiety makes you feel).
In the meantime I’ve been working on an update video from footage I shot right before I left. I hope you enjoy it.
Wim got his passport back, and his US visa renewed in record time (which is very uncommon in SA), and will be making a trip to NC in September. If you have a church, youth group, cell group, home Bible Study or whatever, and would like him to come share his story as well as the stories of the children he works with, please either contact me or Wim through his website or through the facebook page. We will also be selling t-shirts this fall to help raise funds for the Soup Kitchen, I’ll have a link up soon to promote them.
Anyways, here’s the video:
Lesotho May Update from Jason White on Vimeo.
Read MoreTemporary Departure
Man. I feel like I’m being torn in half.
You all know I’m an emotional guy. Between leaving to come home for fundraising, loving this place here, the anticipation of getting home, the thought of seeing everyone again, and the long flight I can’t quit crying. Feels like I’m torn between two worlds, both of which I love. On one hand, I’m so ready to see my family. On the other, I’m going to miss Hylien, Wim, and Jrn until January. I really hope God knows what he’s doing, I’m sure he does, but its a hard time right now, and he definitely told me not to lean on my own understanding this past week.
Please pray for me, that I would be able to keep it together over the next two days, for my health traveling back, and for safety. I the 7 or so hours that I’ll just be sitting in airports, that will be the worst time, especially since more than half of that time is in NY at JFK. I’ll be in the US, just not home yet.
For those of you who dont know, the cheapest flight I could find that worked with Wim’s schedule was tomorrow (Thursday 2nd). The flight prices just kept going up throughout the summer. I’ll be leaving Johannesburg at 2PM our time tomorrow (8AM your time), connecting in Dubai, then to JFK, and I should be at RDU by 2PM EST on Friday. Look forward to seeing everyone in the next couple weeks or so, I imagine I’ll just be a vegetable for two or three days once I’m home.
Read MoreChanging Gears
For the past few weeks I’ve been seeking God for direction, where He could use me the best. Initially I came to Africa with the vision from God that I was to be a help servant to Wim in any way I could. A need has arisen. Wim and I have prayed, and asked many of you, among others, to pray as well for God to confirm the decision that must be made for this need. We asked God how I could be used most effectively for the ministry here, and God made it clear that I could be most effective in the US fundraising for the Soup Kitchen project and building of Care Centers.
Below is the announcement Wim has made to the supporting organizations of the ministry, and posted on his blog and website, it is what we feel God leading us to do:
“We have some great news that we would like to share with all our friends and supporters.
As you all know, Jason White has been here since February. I was quite sure that we would never have long term visitors here again, but God showed us clearly through his Word that Jason would serve in this ministry. With Jason’s help, a lot of things have been done since then, but in the last few weeks it seems his enthusiasm for the people of Lesotho and the project we have there could be better utilized.
We prayed about this and many of you joined us in that prayer, and we thank you for that. In this last week, God gave us a plan and again through friends praying with us, confirmed this plan through scripture.
We are really excited to tell you that in order to create more awareness about the need for more Care Centers in Lesotho, and to do fundraising for the Soup Kitchen, Jason will be returning to the US as our representative there coordinating fundraising, awareness, and expanding our web presence.
God willing Jason will be back home by the end of June and we ask that if you can assist him in any way in helping with fundraising or scheduling speaking engagements to contact him at prostovtheov@gmail.com.
We also ask that you pray for him in this time when he needs to readjust his life.
Jason will also be coordinating and leading teams coming to South Africa this fall and winter to do ministry in Lesotho with the Care Centers and Soup Kitchen, so if you or your church wants to organize a team, please contact him.”
I am grateful for the things God has taught me here, I believe he sent me in the first place to prepare me, to show me what life is like here, and point out the needs, so that I could translate that into an American context. And now he is directing me to do ministry where it can be most effective for Changing Tomorrow, in the US, and I will follow.
I will be leaving ASAP, by the end of June at the latest, depending on cost of flights (they vary according to what day you fly on), and I’ll be taking the cheapest I can find on such short notice. Upon returning I will be taking around three weeks to rest/recuperate/readjust, get medical checkups, move my things, and visit with people. The fourth week, I’ll be moving back to Wake Forest (God has already provided housing for me, down to the very week I’m coming back). All the while preparing things (t-shirts, decals, promo videos) for fundraising and speaking events. As soon as I’m settled back in, I’ll hit the ground running speaking at churches, youth groups, wherever an audience will hear what God is doing in Lesotho to raise funds for the soup kitchen and care center construction. And Lord willing in January (and if possible around October) I’ll be going back to bring a team from North Carolina to Lesotho to do ministry at the soup kitchen, which will hopefully have funds to operate by then.
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Serving Christ or Man?
I was going over what I’m teaching the youth at Leratong tomorrow morning in Galatians 1, and man is it powerful stuff.
Paul over and over emphasizes that the gospel he preaches is not something he made, it did not come from man, it could not come from man, because if he made it up to please man, he would not be a servant of Christ, and obviously, by his actions it is evident he is a servant of Christ.
Paul says “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
This is a hard one to deal with guys. Even when God blatantly tells us to do something, whether it be a specific task or a general command, the pressure to perform to please [others] I think is built into all of us. I know I’m guilty of it. My own pride gets in the way so much, its hard to stay focused on what God actually wants me to do. But its a process. Becoming a Christian doesn’t mean you’ll automatically just be able to make Christ the priority of every aspect of your life, no, that comes with time, patience, long suffering, pruning, and growing (otherwise known as sanctification). Its still difficult for me to say without a doubt in my mind that what I do, I do for the Lord. When Paul writes the Corinthians and says “whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all for the glory of God”, he’s calling them to a pretty hefty task. I dont think many of us can say that that statement rings true for us in our lives, because most of the things we do revolve around pleasing man, and making ourselves look better. Its how we’re built, we’re selfish beings, consumed with ourselves, we can’t get away from it without the help of Christ.
The example Paul gives here in this first chapter of Galatians points out a very important thing. He first says that he does not work for man, he is a servant of Christ. God gives the directions, Paul follows (as should we). He then goes on to tell about his former life. Paul was the best of the best at persecuting Christians, in front of the law he was blameless, really good at being a Jew. And people knew him for that, they knew that he was the mac daddy of persecutors, and would probably do it with a smile on his face. Then Jesus changed him. Jesus made an example out of Paul, to show how even the chief of sinners could be 180′ed in a different direction. Paul didn’t immediately consult with anyone after Jesus changed him, but after three years or so he went to stay with Cephas (Peter), and people didn’t know his name there, they only knew that he was the guy who used to persecute the church so bad. But guess what? He’s not persecuting the church anymore, he’s preaching that same gospel he persecuted. Complete 180. And what did the people do when they saw Paul’s change? They glorified God. They probably thought, well now I’ve seen it all, God you can do anything!
When we release those burdens of trying to serve man, even if its just subconsciously, and whole heartedly choose to follow Christ, and live to please him rather than ourselves or our friends, people notice. They say, man, So-and-so used to be [insert rash comment], but God’s got ahold of ‘em now, they’ve been changed.
I pray God will continue to prune and change me, make me more confident in Him, more trusting, and that he’d get rid of that desire to please people rather than Him. How bout you?
Read MoreLots Of Things Happening In Lesotho
Yesterday Wim and I went to Lesotho after almost two weeks of not going. I wasn’t feeling well the first week and last Saturday as we were going to Joburg to pick up a package for me, Wim accidentally left his bag with his passport and identity document on top of the truck at the gas station. We didn’t realize it was gone until we got to the first toll booth about an hour and a half a way. Thankfully Wim got a temporary passport that has a couple pages for stamps in it, that will let us get back into Lesotho a few more times until his new one arrives (6 to 8 weeks…who knows).
Things here work in cycles. There are periods when there is absolutely nothing to do, and then there are times when everything explodes all at once. This time when we went to Lesotho, the lady from the care center close to the one in Matlakeng, the one we visited last time, said stones had been donated and been arranged for delivery, and they found volunteers to build. John is about 4 feet from the ground with his house, so things are coming along there. We then went to Kotsonkoaneng, and they said they were ready for cement. On our way back into town we stopped by Utloanang, and the lady said they were ready to build as well. There was a man next door who would make and deliver the bricks for a good price, and there were also volunteers who would build. Once we got back into town we ordered cement for Kotsonkoaneng. So thats three day cares that will start building within the next month. Fortunately, we have things set up in Lesotho in such a way that neither Wim nor I actually need to be there for things to happen. The communities in which the children live rise up and build for them, all we do is provide the education, materials, and in some cases money to help feed the children.
I was thinking as we were riding back, I love this place, it means so much to me. As much as I would like to be home and be with people, I think I would be homesick of here if I came home.
Here are some photos from yesterday, enjoy:
Do Not Give Up
Didn’t have much to blog about today as far as cool new stuff happening.
I apologize if the following is sort of random, my thoughts are a mess right now.
Most of you know, I’ve been dealing with some anxiety for the past week or two. I’ve been talking with many precious friends who’ve encouraged me with ways to identify what the cause is and help me get through it. Fear is an easy thing to embrace when you’re in a foreign country. So much easier than trusting in Christ. After some talking with friends tonight I’ve realized that I’ve somewhat made fear an idol in my life. Anxiety and fear do not come from the Lord, and although I’m a little homesick still, God has given me some great encouragement tonight. Tonight I was able to eat a full meal, the first time in a week, without being nauseous. Thank you Lord!
Last week the doctor gave me beta blockers to lower my heart rate and blood pressure. I took one on Monday and a half of one on Thursday. By Thursday I felt as if I were in some deep dark hole of hopelessness. Apparently one of the side effects of beta blockers is depression. I immediately quit taking those and opted for a more natural fix for anxiety. I figured living in this sort of environment, away from family and friends, and already being a sort of stressed individual, that my body may be deficient in some sort of vitamin, because even though I brought multivitamins with me, I’ve neglected taking them. Yesterday after a great trip to Joburg I started a vitamin regimen of Stress-B Complex, Omega 3 and 6, and Calcium and Magnesium, along with my normal Multi. These particular vitamins are supposed to help with depression and anxiety, and I’ve had a B deficiency before. This morning was a little rough, I still woke up nauseous, but after taking the vitamins today, along with a jog, and encouragement from friends, I was able to eat a whole meal for dinner, and I’m feeling much better. I don’t believe its completely gone, because it is a daily battle to look to Jesus and his truth rather than the fear and death I see around me, but I think its getting better.
After talking with friends tonight, I firmly believe that the anxiety is part of a spiritual battle. There have been a couple times where I’ve awakened at night terrified for no reason, and once where I woke up and it felt like something was sitting on me. Satan is trying to make me unable to accomplish what God wants for me to do, and I believe that that is part of my depressed mood and anxiousness as of late. But Jesus is stronger. He calls us to think about “whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, anything excellent, and anything worthy of praise” not to be deceived by lies and things that are not true, and most definitely not to dwell on those things and let them become our focus.
Stress and anxiety have been part of me for a long time now. I’m not like most guys that can just turn caring off. I care too much. But I’ve been caring in the wrong way. The homesickness and anxiety made me want to give up. To just call it quits and come home because I was too uncomfortable here, because I wanted to be back in my comfort zone, around people that are similar to me who I can relate with.
As I was talking with Debbie Friday night, she gave me some wisdom. Dont let your emotions control you. Especially in my case. Every ounce of my being, my emotions, my body was telling me to get out of here and go home, because you’re not getting the same attention you do here as you do there. I even asked her whether it would be alright if I came home. I’d give anything to just be able to hug my mom and dad right now. But she said, pour yourself into Scripture, and let God speak to you, and if for some reason God wants you back home, then by all means, come home and no one will think differently of you. Saturday as I was riding to Joburg to pick up a package from a friend coming all the way from Newton NC, I decided to take Debbie’s advice and immerse myself in Scripture, and I just decided to read through Galatians.
As much as I want to come back home and end the homesickness, God spoke to me yesterday. As I got near the end of Galatians a particular verse popped out at me that I hadn’t noticed before. ”And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we DO NOT GIVE UP. ” Galatians 6:9 For a while I’ve felt like I was doing something good here, but I haven’t had much motivation because I don’t see any benefit from it. And when I read that verse, I knew that God was telling me not to give up, because you’re here for a reason. So my encouragement for you today is not to give up. God does not call us to easy tasks, he says here is something I need done, it might look daunting, and you will probably be uncomfortable, but never forget I AM ALWAYS WITH YOU.
Pray for me that I would remain motivated and focused in the mornings, thats the worst time, and that God would use the vitamins to nourish my body and restore a natural balance, so that I can work and teach effectively.
Read MoreA Tea Party We Shall Have…Or Coffee Rather…
I know what you’re thinking…..give coffee to 4 and 5 year olds?!!!??!??!?!?! Are you crazy??!?!?!??!?!?!?
Don’t blame me….blame Hylien, she brought the coffee, I didn’t complain.
It was Nthabileng’s birthday, so we brought some birthday cake and coffee to the mountain with us today. The coffee was appreciated, even if it did taste less than subpar (it was instant), because today was absolutely miserable. Rainy, cold, and windy. Johannes said there was snow on the top of the big mountain behind the care center this morning, there was still a dusting left when we got there. Anyways, check out the action shots of Nthabileng blowing out her candles and the sweet snakes the kids made out of edible playdough (yes, edible, for a while as a kid I didn’t know there was a difference between edible and non-edible playdough, I just thought it was all edible…haha)
